So I had a meltdown as at Christmas event on Sunday. I don’t know what really went on I don’t remember much of it. One min I’m having a great time the next I’m in tears and feeling all alone. I can’t face seeing the people I was with that day (other than OH) or going to that pub for a long time. In fact, I don’t even want to leave the house. I called in sick for my placement yesterday and cancel my bank shift for today. Now I need to make up those hours and that pay.
Speaking of pay, I have no idea how I am going to pay the bills in January or the CCJ if I get one. One thing going my way (I think) is that I might be able to push the ccj back to January by saying I can’t do the mediation on 12th December. I can’t see I’d get a court date for December. Also, Moriarty never show up to court so it goes against them.
I’m feeling very down at the moment, not saying much at all and looking distant.
One good piece of news. I got my final uni marks yesterday and I got 88% on one of the components!!! I’ve never had anything like that before. Due to having 2 very poor marks, my overall grade will be sitting on the border of 2:2/2:1 but I’m happy with that. On;y the OSCE to come back but no-one ever fails that.
As you can see my marks are average. PCP was a load of crap 🙁 The units that are PASS are only pass or fail. Annoying as the pass exam I got 100% and only needed 80% to pass. I am a solid 2:2 student so far. I’d like 2:1 but I don’t really have the motivation for it and don’t necessarily need a classification to go on to further study for nursing, some do ask for 2:1/2:2 some just ask you to be a register nurse.
Year 2 marks
So far I have only gotten one mark back 49%, I have another due back next week. The first half of this academic year has been mostly placements and lessons. The exams, coursework and OSCE are all in October/November.
I did, however, have a practice drug calculation test and got 100% only need 90% I think this year. What I am really stressing over is the OSCE, last year I failed the first attempt. This year it sounds better as we have 5 stations at 12 mins each and need to only gain 20 out of 40 marks with nothing compulsory like last year.
I am currently on my third placement, a short 3 weeks on a surgical ward (digestive diseases). I don’t know why but I get nervous every second I’m on the ward, mainly thinking that I need to know everything which I don’t. Three weeks should fly by though.
I’ve always thought I’d had things going on in my head, I just was good as suppressing them. I’d have down days, feel depressed, not want to leave the house or do anything days.
I think it has started to come to ahead this year. During my first placement in ED in March/April I was doing only the things I HAD to do. I was cancelling bank shifts left right & centre. The bank team at the hospital didn’t like this so I was let go, thankfully I have other employment but that isn’t any better.
In June I stopped going to uni, I just wanted to be in my ‘happy place’ the gym. I would, however, carry on with my assignments and eventually start my second placement but did little else. The placement went well and I was waiting to start my HCA bank job at the new trust.
Placement ended on the 26th July and I eventually got onto the bank the following week. As I did an induction in June my official start date is June. Since finishing my second placement I have only worked two shifts despite having been booked on my many more. I’d leave the house in the morning, get almost there, then cancel the shifts. I was just going round in circles.
The thing is I can’t afford NOT to be working.
I had a great opportunity to work loads throughout August but worked three shifts in total!
Things really came to a head about a week ago, I didn’t know what I wanted to do or if I wanted to keep going, this is still being sorted out and the person involved is really a nasty person.
Thankfully I have a lovely support network at home, and I will get through this. I have pushed everything away for so long I can continue to do so for the foreseeable future.
On 9th December 2018, I completed my first year of university and all I have left is an OSCE resit in January. I have 8 weeks off before I return for second year (if I return).
My first assessed placement didn’t end too badly, I ended up having to go in the day after I finished to get my paperwork signed of, I was just glad to be finished with the place.
My second assessed placement was much better, the mentor I spent most of my time with was utter crap but my other mentor and everyone else were great. The placement provided me with lots of learning experiences and I’m really happy with how my year ended.
I feel I have developed over the year, I just have to wait for results the board meets this week!
From now on I am working as much as possible before I return, I am only on a bank flexi contract now so I can fit work around placements much easier.
This first year was easy compared to what lies ahead.
It seems that I don’t go anywhere other that the States for my holidays, I actually don’t. I just love America, it’s history, people, sport and beer!
We always go up to the airport the day before and stay in a hotel so as not to rush on the day of the flight, flights to America are generally in the morning or at least we book onto those.
This time round we stayed at the Ibis Style just outside Heathrow Airport on Bath Road. It is in a perfect location and at a perfect price that we will be staying there again. The room wasn’t massive but we didn’t need much for just one night.
Last time we stayed at the Leonardo Hotel one stop closer to the Airport. It was an okay place to stay but it felt too businessy.
I have stayed at many a hotel when flying from Heathrow but the closer to the airport the better
So far I have been on my placement for 3 weeks with 4 weeks left. I’ve worked with my mentor 3 times (all early shifts) and don’t appear to have a buddy mentor, though I have worked with one nurse a lot.
I’m not sure what to make of this placement or how I am going to make up lost hours. They appear to think I need to work with my mentor 80% of the time when it really should be 40%. The only time I’m supervised is when it involved drugs, but I’ve only given them out twice.
I do the admission paperwork alone then they check and counter sign, I take out cannulas alone, I escort to theatre and x-ray alone and I’m expected to make my own arrangements to work in different areas. I went down to outpatients the other afternoon as there was nothing to do on the ward and there was nothing to do in outpatients, I’m not sure I really want to do a whole day there. I been told that my working is affecting what I can do on placement and that they really don’t usually give students a Saturday shift, they just so happen to have gave given me two?!. Fridays are their busy/interesting theatre days but they are days I usually work. I have managed to get 2 Fridays off which is good. They have ‘concerns’ about me travelling and me also working but they don’t actually express them to me.
I have loads of competencies that need signing off but no one has seen me cover them. Also if I am lead to believe by uni, that we need to do 37.5 hrs weeks / 750 hrs in first year, then I need to make up 58 hrs during my next placement. Everything I read says 700 hours as it’s 800 in years 2+3 totalling 2300 overall. The NMC requires student nurses to work no less than 2300 hours, our student handbook states 700 hours, out unit information states both 700 & 800 but uni tutors say 37.5 hours a week or 750 hours in year 1. I’ve emailed the placement team to clarify as it’s going to mean 4 long days most weeks in my last placement to make those hours up, if they let me. It’s my fault for taking a holiday during placement time but why the increase in required hours. I still say it’s 700 hours!