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January 15, 2020

Things aren’t going to plan

sadness 3434515 1920 1024x683 - Things aren't going to plan

My anxiety has been a cloud all around me these past few weeks. I’m able to get out of the house but if it’s something I don’t want to do, like going to work, I want to hide from the world.
I need to know exactly what is going on & what is going to happen. If it’s something new to me, I want to freak out and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve cancelled a ‘few’ shifts with one job this year and now I’m only able to book 24hrs ahead. I went into Brighton last Saturday ready to throw myself into a shift on a ward I’d never worked at before but before I’d even gotten off the bus I had decided not to go. Strangely I wasn’t freaking out about doing the shift or the fact that I had just blown it off. I decided to cancel my next 2 shifts due to a cold/flu basically spending all my time in bed over the weekend.
It was on Monday when I was enquiring about shifts for this Friday that I got an email with an attached letter, dated 6th January, stating that I had had all my shifts cancelled and I was only to book 24hrs before! If I had actually gone in for that Saturday shift I would have been turned away anyway.

Since then I have booked a shift for tonight and waiting on confirmation of a shift for tomorrow night. I have also been approved and started at the agency I recently joined. I have a shift Saturday night and then earlies all next week. The pay isn’t as good as the hospital for nights & weekends but it is for days and it’s more local. I am going to give this a try if I don’t like the care home I just won’t go back.

I am still waiting on a date to go for my induction at the private hospital. They asked for my availability in Feb, so I gave them that and also said I’m free the rest of January. Haven’t heard back just yet.

To top things off, I have gone into my OD which I can’t afford to get out of. My food order was meant to be paid on PayPal credit (yes I know bad me) but in fact, it came out of my bank account and I have no money other than like £12 cash for the rest of the month. Thankfully My jobs are weekly paid so I’ll have money next Friday & I get my student loan start of Feb.

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ABOUTME - Things aren't going to plan

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After 3 years of using and hating a chromebook, I After 3 years of using and hating a chromebook, I have finally gotten myself a new laptop. Welcome back 'home' & 'caps lock' oh how I've missed you guys.

I appreciate uni giving us a chromebook for our studies but I've had issues throughout and really don't like them. It did save me having to buy a new laptop for 3 years though đŸ˜€

#newlaptop #acerswift5
Look what's just arrived wasn't expecting it. #un Look what's just arrived wasn't expecting it.

#universityclassification #universityofportsmouth
After only 2 months qualified I have received and After only 2 months qualified I have received and accepted a new RN role. I'm leaving the NHS for a night role in a nursing home.  I haven't enjoyed my time since qualifying & I realise I'm not a ward nurse especially surgical (though I can see myself in theatres). The original role I accepted and I would have enjoyed has been closed since this time last yr and I can't see it opening this year.
So many people I hear get their 'dream' role on qualifying, I'm not one of them & I'm not one to be happy just anywhere.  I want to be an oncology specialist or on the clinical research team. There are no jobs for these role so onto post grad study ASAP and see where it goes.

#registerednurse #nusinghomenurse #newlyqualifiednurse #oncologynurse #clinicalresearch 
#newrnjob 
#newnurserole
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After 3 years of using and hating a chromebook, I After 3 years of using and hating a chromebook, I have finally gotten myself a new laptop. Welcome back 'home' & 'caps lock' oh how I've missed you guys.

I appreciate uni giving us a chromebook for our studies but I've had issues throughout and really don't like them. It did save me having to buy a new laptop for 3 years though đŸ˜€

#newlaptop #acerswift5
Look what's just arrived wasn't expecting it. #un Look what's just arrived wasn't expecting it.

#universityclassification #universityofportsmouth
After only 2 months qualified I have received and After only 2 months qualified I have received and accepted a new RN role. I'm leaving the NHS for a night role in a nursing home.  I haven't enjoyed my time since qualifying & I realise I'm not a ward nurse especially surgical (though I can see myself in theatres). The original role I accepted and I would have enjoyed has been closed since this time last yr and I can't see it opening this year.
So many people I hear get their 'dream' role on qualifying, I'm not one of them & I'm not one to be happy just anywhere.  I want to be an oncology specialist or on the clinical research team. There are no jobs for these role so onto post grad study ASAP and see where it goes.

#registerednurse #nusinghomenurse #newlyqualifiednurse #oncologynurse #clinicalresearch 
#newrnjob 
#newnurserole
No weight loss but weight loss isn't linear. I ma No weight loss but weight loss isn't linear.

I managed to stay under my calories goal last week, not snaking just because I can.

This week the gymshark66 challengen is #HealthySwaps66 time to swap the 'unhealthy' to the 'healthy'. 

@gymshark #gymshark66 #gymshark66challenge #HealthySwaps66 #educateyourself66
Week 3 of the gymshark challenge @gymshark It's t Week 3 of the gymshark challenge @gymshark

It's time to educate myself. My aim for this week is to learn to eat within my calorie limits and try new foods.

#educateyourself66 #gymshark66 #gymshark66challenge
Yay finally arrived. Yes I don't take good photos. Yay finally arrived. Yes I don't take good photos. These feel so comfortable. @sidemenclothing @sidemen 

#sidemen #sidemenclothing
Day 1 of the kick-start challenge done @toneandsc Day 1 of the kick-start challenge done

@toneandsculptapp 

#toneandsculptapp #gymshark66 #Gymshark66 #activeeveryday66
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